Two nights in a row I’ve had dreams of pushing away from the shore in a wooden boat. On the first night, my boat glided far out into the water and continued gliding as I woke from the dream. The second night, my boat ran aground on a large piece of rock jutting up from the bottom of the sea. That rock was a huge boundary. I’ve been waking up from these dreams wide awake (even at 3AM). Even worse, once I’m awake, my mind won’t let the images go as I replay them over and over again. At least in the first dream I was getting somewhere. The second dream just left me frustrated. Pictures flicker across my mind showing me possible scenarios of what these dreams could mean. Is it my career? My love life? My family life? Trust issues? Have I over-committed myself? I don’t know what it could be – they’re all heavy issues at the moment.
Why is all this stuff coming up again now? These boundary issues are supposed to be behind me. I’ve already dealt with all this stuff, thank you very much. Evidently, I’m meant to deal with them again. But all of them?
That’s the funny thing about boundaries – any boundaries – they’re always shrinking and expanding depending on the circumstances of your life. One day there’s an expanse of water, the next day your boat runs aground. And sometimes there are things that get into your boat that really shake you up. But in hindsight, these often have a beautiful purpose in the expansion of your Spirit. There are times when people and situations rattle you, drive you out of things you needed to move on from, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your addictions and obstacles, break your heart open like an egg, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life. That’s where these boundaries come in; they open us up to all kinds of experiences, and lovingly shield us once we’ve learned some important lessons. Boundaries help us navigate the waters as we learn about life along the way.
Getting back to my dream, I guess I have to accept that I have no control over the things that are outside of me; and I can only control just one thing – myself. All I can do is my best in any given situation and know that my best was enough in that given moment. And as Oprah says, “When you know better, you do better.” Now that I’ve given it greater thought, I think I have some boundaries to rearrange….