So, I spent last night reading Marianne Williamson’s book, “A Woman’s Worth.” I’m not finished reading it, however I should be because it’s an easy read and not very long at 141 pages. But her book is so rich and so deep that I found myself sitting and contemplating almost everything I read. I have passages underlined on most every page. I even brought the book into the car with me today and opened it while I waited at stop lights.
I think that at the center of this book, Williamson believes that the calling of every woman’s heart is to become a magnificent woman, and that it’s our core task as we grow. I find this sentiment to be beautiful, inspiring, and madly intimidating all at once. It’s that word, magnificent, that seems so….well, grandiose. I mean, I certainly have days when I feel spectacular… but magnificent?! To embrace this idea requires a major shift in my thinking. I’m going to need to think bigger. A lot bigger. Already, my inner voice is talking to me, saying things like, “You’re Polly Meyer and you come from Rice Street in St. Paul. Honestly, Polly, you’re getting too big for your britches if you’re thinking of attempting magnificence. I know you have your goals, but come on?! You’re a single mom and the closest you’ll get to magnificence is by seeing Cher or Bette Midler perform in Vegas. You’re just gonna fall on your face and have mud on it.”
So I sit here with defeated thoughts. My ego refusing to let me go any further. My hands rest on the keyboard and remain still as I contemplate what to do. Why is this so hard? It’s just a word. M.A.G.N.I.F.I.C.E.N.C.E. Frustrated already and I just started writing this dang blog yesterday.
And suddenly it hits me! The purpose of my writing this blog! It’s the pursuit of becoming a Woman of Substance. Hello?! Isn’t it all about transforming the way I view and conduct myself in this world? Okay, then. I’m forging ahead and committing to it. If Williamson is right, and it truly is the calling of every woman’s heart to become magnificent, then I WILL aspire to do so.
Wow, just to say that out loud makes me feel uncomfortable.
Why do women become so uncomfortable when they want to enlarge themselves? I think it’s because it threatens the status quo. In life, we are bound by things, by people, by responsibilities, and situations that keep us tied. And when we enlarge ourselves – when we change – our world and our relationships change with us. They’re pulled right along, kicking and screaming the whole way. They ask us, “What’s wrong with the way things are?” Well, nothing. And everything. When a woman starts to feel that longing for something more…like she isn’t achieving her full potential, it’s a clear signal from the Universe that some enlarging is in order.
So today, I make to the statement to the Universe that I INTEND TO ENLARGE. Even if it takes me the next 50 years of my life to do it.
Okay….so now what?